Author Archives: parish01

Seeking Engagement

Are you one of the 33%?

If you are a working parent, I sure hope so.

3TypesEmployeesIn this instance, 33% represents the small number of employed Americans who see their work as “engaging.” Consider that for a moment: In any room of adults, roughly 7 out of 10 of them are not happy going to work each morning.

How depressing is that?

Since 2010, Gallup has collected data from millions of American workers in order to report on the state of the American Workplace (see the 2017 report here: “State of the American Workplace”). It was the 2017 report’s data that indicated only one in three Americans intellectually and emotionally connect with their work.
More disheartening, of course, is what the remaining 67% of American workers represent. According to Gallup CEO Jim Clifton, “16 percent of employees are actively disengaged – they are miserable in the workplace and destroy what the most engaged employees build,” while the “remaining 51 percent of employees are not engaged – they’re just there.”

Just there.

This is no way to spend one’s day, be it at work . . . or school.

Indeed, engagement is as critical an issue in the schoolhouse as it is in the workplace. Across the country too many of our older students are “just there” while at school. They experience the courses, lessons and tests associated with their education as merely another set of rungs to be climbed if they are to have “successful” lives. This phenomenon of a joyless school experience has been dubbed “doing school.”

Among those who have studied engagement in schools like Parish is Independent School Management (ISM), a Delaware-based research and consultancy firm. Their research involving more than 13,000 students in private and independent middle and upper schools demonstrates that “early middle school students (grades 5 and 6) reported significantly greater engagement” than upper school students. Late middle school students (grades 7 & 8), while more engaged than their older peers, “were more likely to be classified as merely ‘doing school’.” ISM’s research concluded that “something happens between grades 6 and 7 to change the engagement picture.” Students continue to “play the game” of school behaviorally (e.g. hand in assignments, study for tests, etc.) as they move into the upper grades (especially grade 9-12), but their cognitive and emotional investment in learning diminishes.

In addition to being a waste of the precious days that God has given to us, disengagement at work or school poses an even more harmful consequence:
anxiety and stress. Data abounds to illuminate the inverse correlation between engagement and stress. Anxiety declines when our hearts, minds and actions are engaged in the work before us. When we question the relevance of the work we are asked to do; find it too difficult or unstimulating; and/or do not feel we have an advocate (as a boss or teacher) who cares about developing us to be more effective at the task, stress and anxiety rise.

AtWhatCostIn previous First Monday’s and From My Angle podcasts (including this one with Dr. David Gleason, author of At What Cost?) I have shared statistics on the elevated levels of stress and anxiety now evident on high school and college campuses alike.

Why do I talk and write about this so frequently?

Because since I arrived at Parish in 2009, we have sought to reimagine how students experience and perceive school. Especially since the birth of the Reimagine strategic vision in 2014, we have been laser-focused on creating vibrant, powerful learning experiences. To do so, our curriculum has been evaluated and articulated with greater specificity; our use of time has been scrutinized and new models tested; and our instructional and assessment strategies have been increasingly personalized. These efforts will continue in the months and years to come, all in our quest to find solutions that promote deep learning, student engagement and – as a result – student well-being.

We believe our work is at the leading edge of what today’s most thoughtful, forward looking schools are doing. This perspective was affirmed in August, when we were fortunate to have on campus Dr. Denise Pope, senior lecturer at Stanford and co-founder of Challenge Success. Dr. Pope is one of the leading experts on student engagement and school reform. In my latest From My Angle podcast, Dr. Pope and I explore the topic of student engagement and the work she is doing with our teachers to support the ongoing evolution of our program. Please listen to it and share it with your friends in the community.

See More. Be More.

What follows is my September chapel talk to the students and faculty at the Midway campus (grades 3-12) as the school year set sail. Each year I anchor my writing and speaking in the community around a central theme. This year’s theme is “perspective.”  The talk below, based on John 6: 35-44, challenged our community members to reflect on their aspirations for the year and their perspective on self.  Could they see more in themselves or would they allow their own self-doubt and the cynicism of others to narrow their perspectives on how they might grow and evolve this school year?

parisfaceSo I begin today with a photo taken by one Gianni Sarcone.

The basics of the image are evident: an outdoor scene; it’s a mall lined by trees.  In the distance you can see a domed building. A structure – resembling the Eiffel Tower – arcs over a pedestrian in the foreground holding an umbrella.  If you look more closely, you might discern moisture on the pavement and note that the person in the center is holding an umbrella.  I wonder, though, whether you see anything else?

Perhaps the photo’s title helps: “The Other Face of Paris.”

Can you see the face?  Notice how a dry spot of pavement forms the pursed lips of the mouth and the round of the chin. The shadow of the umbrella makes a nose of sorts and the person the nose’s bridge.  If you stare hard at the shadowing of the trees, it makes for two eyes – sometimes I see them as closed, other times as open; who knows?  The arcing gray sky constitutes the forehead.

I love illusions like these. You have likely seen them before – is that a duck or maybe a rabbit?


cigar_bricksWhy is this photo of a wall an internet meme?  Because people have spent hours looking at it…unable to see the cigar stuck between the bricks.

Besides providing amusement, these photos also exemplify vividly how it’s possible for two of us to look at the same thing and see it differently. We each bring a unique perspective to the world.  Our background, education, and age are just a few of the many factors that shape the way we view ourselves and how we experience our relationships with the people, places, and circumstances we encounter. Depending on our perspective it is even possible that we miss something right in front of us.  We can struggle to recognize that there is more to something or to someone than first meets the eye.


When I come to speak with you in chapel this year, you will hear this word a lot: PERSPECTIVE.


Those of you who have tuned in during my homilies the last nine years know I like using such an annual theme.  We have explored being remarkable (you seniors were in fourth grade); the infamous #success campaign (during your 8th grade year); and last year’s quest: the hero’s journey.  Using the theme, the scripture reading and our ParishLeads framework, I endeavor to promote reflection about how we might be the people of impact I know each of us can be.


Today, I want to talk about the perspective we have of ourselves – your “self-perspective” one might call it.

After all, we are at the beginning of a journey: the new school year.  Anytime we prepare to start something – be it a new school year, a next level of scouts, an advanced level our religious studies or music lessons – it should be natural to ask: where am I as this new chapter begins?  And, how might the journey to come help me become a better version of myself?

In our reading today, we see Jesus nearing the end of a journey of His own.  Jesus spent roughly three years, most believe between his 30th to 33rd birthdays, teaching by parable and miracle. Early in John 6, Jesus has performed a miracle most of us know well: He multiplied a handful of fish and loaves of bread to feed thousands of people.

Today’s verse picks up just after this miracle. Crowds are increasingly curious about this young, revolutionary teacher.  Their perspective? That Jesus is “just” another prophet sent by God, as Moses had been.  Just as you may have struggled to see the face embedded within the “Other Face of Paris,” the Israelites could not see past Jesus’ earthly form. Scripture tells us their doubt came in the form of murmurs:

 “Is this not Jesus, the son of Joseph? Do we not know his father and mother? Then how can he say, ‘I have come down from heaven’?”

To the crowds, Jesus was one of them. They could not envision him as the Son of God on earth, the one who would die for their sins and, in so doing, deliver them to eternal life.

As for Jesus’ self-perspective, listen again to what He said:

I am the bread of life.”

 “I came down from heaven not to do my own will but the will of the one who sent me.”

“No one can come to me unless the Father who sent me draw him, and I will raise him on the last day.”

Jesus didn’t murmur this under His breath. He did not say “I might be” the bread of life or “it would be nice to be the bread of life” or “I hope to be the bread of life.”  He declared it with clarity and boldness, even as those around Him murmured in doubt in a way that reflected their narrow perspectives on Him.

Do you want to accomplish something meaningful this year?

Then a lesson lies within the photo I showed you, Jesus’ declaration, and the murmuring of the crowd: See more to be more.

To be more you have to lift your head – from your phone, your shyness, or your doubt – and see more in yourself, just as we came to see the face in the photo or both a rabbit and a duck in the sketch when we looked harder.

Place you gaze on something. Focus on it. Make it something that matters to you, and declare your intention with the same certainty that Jesus asserted that he was the bread of life.  Be more consistent with your commitment to studies; express gratitude daily; climb a mountain; write a song. Whatever it is you dare to see in front of you, commit to making it real – something you can see, touch, and feel.


Well, for one, listen to the stern direction Jesus gave the crowd:  stop murmuring

Jesus answered and said to them, “Stop murmuring* among yourselves.”

bart simpsonThe murmur is the chatter in our heads that tells us we can’t be what we see; that chastises ourselves after we make a mistake; that fills us with worry that the game or the test or the project idea is not going to work as we think.  Stop murmuring negatively to yourself.

The murmur is also the doubt or displeasure you perceive in the voices and eyes of others.

If we listen to what others murmur, our “self-perspective” will be narrow, not broad. It will be limited, not expansive. Don’t allow the doubts of others to blur your vision for who you aspire to become.

In these opening weeks of school, look up and out ahead – toward May when this school year ends.  Look carefully.  Fix your eyes on who you aspire to be.  Declare your vision and move toward it with might and energy and confidence.  See more so that you can be and become more.


A Perspective on College Admissions with Christopher Gruber, Davidson College VP and Dean of Admission and Financial Aid

From My Angle - Chris Gruber Twitter.pngThe second season of the From My Angle podcast continues with this episode featuring Chris Gruber, who has been in higher education admissions for 33 years at the University of Richmond and Davidson College.  As I explore the theme of perspective this year in my writing and speaking within the community, this podcast features insights from Chris and me about the changes in the college admissions process over the last 15 years, the ways a college admissions team views applicants, and how perspectives on teaching and learning on colleges campuses are shifting. I am sure you will enjoy the conversation.  Please subscribe and share the podcast with friends and colleagues!

“At What Cost” with Dr. David Gleason

In my blog last month, I introduced the theme of “perspective” that will pervade much of my writing and speaking to the community this year. One forum through which I will seek to broaden your perspectives is the From My Angle podcast. I am most excited to launch my second season of interviews and discussions featuring innovative thinkers in and outside the world of education as well as talented faculty, students and alumni from Parish.

AtWhatCostThis first episode of season two features clinical psychiatrist Dr. David Gleason, the author of At What Cost? As we at Parish Reimagine together how to create the new independent school model – one that inarguably prepares our students for the “complex global society” but does so without compromising their well-being, engagement or love of learning – Dr. Gleason’s research on the perspective today’s students and parents have on the college preparatory learning experience will prove particularly compelling.

Listen to the full interview on Soundcloud


Gaining Perspective

These two family images capture the Monaco family on roughly the same day nine years apart – I suspect you will recognize the location:

The first photo was taken in July of 2009 on the day we arrived together in Dallas. We recently restaged the photo to mark the beginning of our tenth year in Texas. Seeing the pictures brought to mind an observation shared with me years ago: nothing frames a parent’s perspective on the passing of time more than seeing a picture of his or her children.

As I look at TC ’16 (now 20 and starting his junior year at Texas A&M), Robert ’20 (now 17), and Sam ’23 (now 14) in these photos I am also reminded of the old philosopher’s joke:

“A snail entered a sheriff’s office and said he was mugged by two turtles. When the sheriff asked him what happened, the snail said, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

We each see the world through our uniquely personal lens. Learning and working in the Parish community these last nine years, my family members and I have a much deeper and richer perspective of Parish, for example, than will be the case for the 175 new students and their families joining us in a few weeks. From the point of view of the snail, even the plodding turtle moved quickly. Indeed, our age, upbringing and experience are just a few factors that influence how we perceive the events, the people and the conditions we encounter.


the interrelation of which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed; a point of view.

As I pondered an organizing theme for my speaking and writing this year the word “perspective” resonated.


For one, decades offer a chronological perch from which one can both reflect and dream. As I begin my tenth year at Parish, my perspective captures both gratitude and appreciation for those with whom I have worked and served. Together, we have helped advance Parish’s mission. Looking forward, I remain as energized and optimistic about our School’s future as I did when I began on July 1, 2009.

Secondly, one of the year’s most significant events will in fact feature just this kind of perspective-taking exercise. The time has arrived for our ten-year re-accreditation from the Independent Schools Association of the Southwest (ISAS) and the Southwest Association of Episcopal Schools (SAES). From September 30 – October 3, we will welcome to campus a team comprised of 14 administrators and faculty from various member schools in these two associations. This Visiting Committee has the responsibility to recommend Parish for re-accreditation to the standards committees of these organizations.

This demarcation is important to Parish in both real and symbolic terms; it signifies to external entities (such as the state of Texas and colleges and universities) that we operate both in accordance with expected standards and in alignment to our mission.

The Visiting Committee’s perspectives on Parish will be informed in part by a comprehensive written self-study that we have authored, evidence we share related to our adherence to the standards established by the respective associations, and their engagement with board members, administrators, faculty, parents and students while on campus. We look forward to their visit. We know they will be impressed by what has transpired in this community since 2009. We also will embrace the feedback they share with us as we seek to build an even stronger Parish in the decade to come.

Perspective2.jpgFinally, I have been drawn to the word “perspective” as I have observed the world around me. Ironically, though technology has opened even more channels for us to expand our own thinking and engage others in civil debate, discussion and dialogue, I sense that perspectives have narrowed and hardened.

Social media trolls and talking heads on increasingly partisan 24-hour cable mediums provide the clearest example of such immutable viewpoints. I don’t know about you, but I feel surrounded more often than not these days by people shouting past one another defenses of their minimalist perspectives.

Which brings me to the start of the new school year.

Unquestioningly, education is a powerful antidote to narrowmindedness. As we prepare to welcome 1140 young people back to our two campuses, our purpose as articulated in our mission – to prepare them to impact the “complex global society” – is as vital and relevant as ever. Positioning our students of today to be the thoughtful, curious and collaborative leaders of tomorrow, however, does not happen by chance.

Our teachers, of course, play a central role. They challenge students by presenting them with contrasting perspectives; they help students become comfortable seeing complex issues from multiple angles. The influential teacher, coach, advisor or learning experience also expands our students’ self-perspective, helping them to recognize the unique gifts they might not have realized they possessed.

Indeed, our students have responsibility, too. Albert Einstein said “I have no special talents; I am only passionately curious.” While influential adults can and should cultivate curiosity, the learner has the ultimate choice: see school as something to survive or embrace it as an opportunity to discover. I pray our students return to campus intent on actively expanding their horizons, not just “doing school.”

Finally, our community collectively readies our students for the complex global society. We do so, in part, through the example we set. As we continue to tackle knotty challenges together, we can model what it looks like to honor perspectives that differ from our own. We can engage in civil discourse when our opinions diverge. Stewarding a dynamic school community like Parish’s, we will be afforded ample opportunity to do this. This year, we will embrace questions without easy answers, ones such as what it means for us to live into our mission as an “inclusive Episcopal community;” how we can best enhance the security of our campuses; and how we will evolve our program to keep it at the forefront of educational innovation.

When it comes to evaluating and choosing Parish’s pathway forward in these and other areas, not everyone’s perspectives will align. I hope, though, that we can hold one another accountable to our tenet of Honor. Simply stated, it calls on us to regard the people, ideas and opinions present before us with high respect and esteem.

We look forward to engaging with you and exchanging perspectives on the important work we do here together readying our students to lead meaningful and fulfilling lives. I hope you will choose to learn, share and grow with us.



The Hero’s Treasure

quoteI penned these words over nine months ago as the journey of the new school year was about to begin. My motives were many. On the one hand, I wished to challenge the Parish community to see the new academic year as a quest, one that offered opportunities to answer the call to grow, explore and discover. My yearlong theme of “quest” also provided a context within which to view the work our school community has been doing since 2014; together, we have chosen to reimagine thoughtfully the type of personalized and dynamic learning experiences that best and most healthily prepare our students for the “complex global society” referred to in Parish’s mission statement.

As school concludes, we heroes return home, so to speak. The somewhat less hectic days of summer provide us a chance to take stock of lessons learned from our journey of the last nine months. Not all that is worth treasuring has been positive; our setbacks, regrets and shortcomings along the way may well offer us some of the richest lessons upon which to build. Yet, as individuals and as members of a school community, we have grown, improved and achieved. Indeed, there is much to celebrate and much for which to be grateful!

Beyond the tremendous work our talented faculty and staff did with our students each day, I am indeed grateful for so many meaningful events that transpired in the Parish community over the last nine months, including:

  • The celebration of our first 10 year class reunion with our Parish Episcopal School class of 2007, a milestone in our school’s history.
  • The opening of the doors to our new Gene E. Phillips Activity Center at the Grand Opening celebration at the start of the school year. This new facility – the first on our campus in over a decade – opened the doors for more opportunities to bring our students and community together throughout the school year – numerous P.E. and athletic practices, Legacy Family events, Christmas Pageants, Rosettes Winter Dance Show, the 6th Annual Parish Dance Recital and the FIRST® LEGO® League robotics competitions, just to name a few.
  • Achieving our 2017-18 Limitless campaign goal. Nancy Ann & Ray Hunt started us off this fall with a generous $3 million challenge grant to incent leadership gifts of $25,000 or more. The community responded, including many who made their first leadership gift ever to Parish. We have exceeded the challenge, raising more than $6 million in leadership gifts this year — an essential step toward making the Performance & Community Center (PACC) a reality on this campus.

In the rhythm of a school year, there is tremendous satisfaction that comes with the conclusion of classes.  I hope you have derived a sense of pride and accomplishment from the journey you have just concluded. I look forward to reconnecting with you in August as we prepare to begin our trip anew!

An Eventful April

Not all of my days are like the ones I experienced between Wednesday, April 4th and Thursday, April 12th. A Head of School’s life often features a wide variety of activities and a dose of the unexpected, but rarely does it pack the type of stimulating public events the Parish community and I had a chance to be enriched by this month.

_WLW9879On April 4th, we welcomed Barbara P. Bush to campus.  This social entrepreneur – who also happens be both the granddaughter and daughter of a President – was honored by Austin College with their Posey Leadership Award.  As part of the events associated with that recognition – and through our partnerships with both the Dallas Fort Worth World Affairs Council and Austin College – we were able to bring Ms. Bush to campus to talk about global leadership.  Though I had never done it before, I survived my initiation as a “talk show host!”  One special facet of the event, held in our new Gene E. Phillips Activity Center, was the presence of over 100 students and teachers from 11 public, charter, independent, and private schools – representatives of their respective schools’ Junior World Affairs Councils.  They were joined in the audience by our Upper School students and faculty.  Ms. Bush’s insights on the powerful influence of early global travel experiences; the fearlessness required to start something, as she did in helping found the Global Health Corps and her core value of love as the fuel for her global service left a deep impression on me and the other audience members.  You can watch excerpts from the interview with Ms. Bush here.

On April 5th, I was one of a handful of local educators asked to participate in “Big Ideas in Education Entrepreneurship” as part of Dallas Start Up Week.  I so enjoyed meeting the entrepreneurs who came to hear 5 minute presentations from me and my fellow educational leaders on our “Big Ideas” for education.  These individuals, many of whom were in the educational technology space, possessed the shining eyes resultant of doing creative work which challenged and inspired them.  These are just the kind of shining eyes I love to see on our students’ faces when I visit the classrooms at Parish!  I also admire the comfort with ambiguity these founders exhibit.  These entrepreneurs have a vision – an idea they believe needs to be brought to life and will serve the world well – but are not entirely certain of what their platform will look like in its final form.  As we explore advancements to our program at Parish –  a new model for independent school education which both prepares students for the complex world while preserving their well-being and love of learning – I recognize that we, too, as a school community, must remain full of wonder.  The “Big Idea” I shared that evening reflected much of what I wrote in my October 2017 blog post.

Finally, on April 12th, our community welcomed author and TED-talk star Julie Lythcott-Haims.  The former freshman dean at Stanford University and author of How to Raise An Adult, helped us launch CenterED, our partnership with The Grant Halliburton Foundation.  I blogged about this partnership in January and our intent through it to marry our school community’s commitment to build an even healthier preparatory academic experience for our students with the Foundation’s expertise in adolescent mental health and wellness.  “Dean Julie,” as she was affectionately known by her students at Stanford, affirmed Parish’s direction; commended the unique partnership between Parish and the Halliburton Foundation; and energized a large audience of parents in her evening keynote to stop trying to construct the path their children will follow.  You can hear the panel discussion between Dr. Lythcott-Haims, Halliburton co-Founder and Executive Chairman Vanita Halliburton, and me here.

Parish embraces our role as a thought leader in the education community – as an institution that contributes to stimulating conversation, discussion, and action around positive change in the learning experience for today’s students. In this context, the week between April 4th and April 12th was an amazing one in the history of our School.